❤ Friendships : My Journey & Story ❤

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* i wrote a little bit about my friendship journey in one of my recent posts. here it is a little bit more in depth. enjoy! :) also, idk why the entire post is highlighted in white ... sorry about that! *

I’m thankful that I can honestly say “yes!” when people ask me if I have good friends. I am blessed with not just one or two but a handful of godly, mature, fun-loving girls and guys that I consider my closest friends.

    One thing that my dad has always told me is this: “Emma, if a guy is not pursuing you, he is not worth being pursued.” I believe that this same principle applies to friendships, and I saw it in action as many young people pursued me when I came to Heritage (our co-op) and made an effort in becoming my friend. I can’t express how grateful I am to these people, without whom my life would be very different.

    Growing up, I never had close friendships. Since I lived in Alaska from age three to eight, and the church that my family attended was rather small, I didn’t really have any girls my age to play with. All of the girls at church were either teenagers or toddlers, and I was stuck right in the middle—to old to play with baby dolls, to young to chat about boys and makeup with the older girls. That’s not to say I didn’t try, however. Even though the older girls were very sweet to me, my six-year-old brain could still tell that they really didn’t want me there. When we moved back up to Michigan two years later, I discovered the dynamic to be very different. The daughters of my mom’s old friends sent me letters, invited me to play dates, and sat with me at church. How good it felt to be wanted! Then my family decided that our current church wasn’t for us and we needed to look for a different one. I was back to being alone.

     For several weeks, we were constantly on the move. Our family was visiting new churches every week and trying to find a place to live. My grandparents were moving, so we couldn’t bunk with them anymore. Month after month we moved from place to place. First we rented a creaky old farmhouse (which, to my dismay, was home to many spiders). Then we moved into a hotel for two weeks before squeezing our growing family into another rental house. Finally, the renters in our old house (the one we had lived in before moving across country) left and we were free to move in. We had finally settled down and, on top of that, we found a church in Canton that was perfect for us: Calvary Baptist.

   At Calvary I found many friends, but two girls in particular became my closest companions. We did everything together and became an inseparable trio. I also became incredibly close with Katie, a friend of one of the girls. Our newfound friendship made this girl jealous, causing a rift in our friendship that wasn’t fully repaired until halfway through sixth grade, when we both made up. The rest of sixth and seventh grade was a blast as we all formed tight-knit friendships with three of the guys in our youth group. We created a group chat via text message and all hung out together on multiple occasions. Following an argument that led to explosive anger on both sides, we all agreed that it would be best to break up the group chat until we had all cooled off.

     That summer was an interesting one. While our friend group had all made up, things were never the same between us. I was still friends with the girls, but things were different somehow. So I distanced myself from everybody at youth group and this pattern followed me to my behavior at Heritage. While I was allowed to be somewhat of a loner at youth group, I quickly found out that it wasn’t so easy. Everybody was incredibly friendly to me, which I found aggravating. “Let’s sit together at lunch!” “Hey, you want to hang out sometime?” “Let me grab your number real quick!” All of these comments followed each other in rapid succession. All I wanted was to throw a pity party for myself, to prove my mom wrong by showing that people didn’t care about me. Why wouldn’t anybody allow that?

    My struggles at youth group grew worse. I grew more and more lonely and lost friend after friend. I dealt with struggles I had at home and at youth group by putting a wall up. I proudly displayed that I was untouchable by the indifferent look that I wore on my face 24/7. People become worried about me.

      Then a girl at co-op invited me to my first swing dance. It sounded cool, so I decided that I was going to go. During the dance, my invisible wall came crashing down. I was surprised to realize that I was having fun! Two girls in my ASL class were there also, and I laughed and talked with them all night. We created a group chat and became really good friends. Later I was added to the Heritage group chat and I got to know several people in there as well. Throughout that semester, I realized that I was having one of the best times of my life. I went to dances and hangouts and counted down the days to Thursday every week. How crazy that my life had changed so drastically because of one dance that I had decided to go to last minute!

     This is what I tell people when they ask me about God’s sovereignty. He knew everything I would go through. He knew the problems I would face. And ultimately, He knew the amazing resolution He had planned. He took my struggles at youth group to alert people at Heritage that I was hurting, triggering the ripple effect of kindness and beginning of the friendships that have grown and developed into my closest relationships. What an amazing, loving, all-powerful God!

I hope this post helped you to see God's work in your own life:) happy Wednesday! <3

-em 💕

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