My Story

     A couple months ago, I struggled with believing in God. When I prayed, I doubted if He was even there, and I pushed important things like reading my Bible away. I didn't really care about growing or grooming my faith, and it overgrew into a tangled mess. I guess you could say that I lost my belief in God. I fell into a depression from there. I mean, if God didn't exist, then what was my purpose in life? I wasn't created on purpose. I was an accident. I wasn't special. I was the product of an explosion, of evolution.
    With the absence of God in my life, I felt something in my heart. It was like a hole that needed to be filled. Without God to fill that hole, I was incomplete. I felt like I needed to fill it with other things. Money, impressive clothes, a pretty face, a great body . . . all of these desires filled my heart. I wanted it all. I needed it all, I thought, to be happy. I was struggling through life, trying day-by-day to fill that void in my heart. It was like a bottomless pit. Nothing satisfied it, nothing made it happy. I thought that I was controlling myself, that I was steering my life into the direction that I wanted to go. Then I looked in the mirror one day and realized that I was spinning out of control. Actually, I had already wrecked.
    One day I was cleaning my room, and I came across this small little thing called The Life Book. I remembered picking it up at my youth group one day, and I began to read it. It was the book of John (with teenager friendly notes) inside this tiny little book. Slowly, I felt the hole inside me begin to be filled. I longed for it to be complete, I longed to be satisfied. I began reading my own Bible and I started to pray again. I was overjoyed to find that I had found my faith. It was never really lost to begin with. It was just covered up with other things.
      I am assured of my salvation because I have experienced what it is like to be without it. I understand that longing to be filled. That's how I know I am free from the bondage of sin. And I never, ever want to forget again.